Kim Loves Stuff

songjournal:

Dillinger Four - “Doublewhiskeycokenoice”

God save Otis Redding because I know he’s never gone
As the sick falls from this mouth, hear me sing it wrong
Is it “Cigarettes and Coffee” now or “Dreams to Be Remembered”?
I’ll leave regrets for dead and I’ll sing along
So I’m reaching for the phone, I don’t wanna be alone
I’m gonna get some friends here tonight
I got a basement full of booze and some blues to lose
I’ll ignore the whole world tonight, it’ll be alright

In honor of it being Pilot’s 22nd or 20th birthday, I’m dedicating this song to her.

This song has been the soundtrack to more nights (and occasional afternoons) that Pilot and I have shared than I can count over the last four years. Semi-formal open bars we’ve attended for the sole purpose of drinking them our of all their whiskey, Sparks power hours at six in the morning, drunken sing-alongs in basements all over Long Island, Meat Party after Meat Party after Meat Party. Stolen signs and shopping carts and bottles of liquor. For me, this song will always evoke the burning sensation of whiskey, getting kicked out of shows, the stale smell of vomit, and everything that I like about life.

“Doublewhiskeycokenoice” presents itself as a song about drinking for drinking’s sake, but it’s not. It begins as a notion of drinking just to forget, but turns into something else. When Erik Funk takes over vocals in the song, it turns from angry and cynical to hopeful and elated. No one wants to drink alone, and even if it’s just you and your alcoholic best friend, you feel better about yourself. While Pilot and I might have become friends because of a shared desire to not drink alone, and some people might think of that as destructive or unhealthy, I’m hard pressed to think of a more honest friendship that my four/five years of college yielded.

Of all the things I miss about not living in Long Island anymore, being close to her is one of the things I miss most. I miss getting drunk at her house, going home, realizing that I didn’t really want to sleep, and riding my bike the four miles back just to drink another couple of beers and watch a shitty (read: awesome) movie with my friend after the party had cleared out. I miss hanging out with someone who was as content hating everything as I was, and having no problem aiding and abetting my drinking problem, all the while still being there for me as a real human being. Mostly I just miss Pilot everyday, regardless of whether or not it’s her birthday, but I can only say it today, because otherwise she’d probably just laugh at me all the time.

Happy birthday, Pilot! You’re my favorite person, and you’re the only one who understands why Nicolas Cage is the greatest actor of our generation or why Back to the Future III is clearly the best Back to the Future film, and when I see you tonight, I’m going to recite this whole thing verbatim and cry while I do it, and I’m going to force you to listen to the whole thing. I love you and I hope you have a great birthday, because I know you get down on yourself, but you deserve to be happy all the time.